A Little Update

It’s been a minute since I last posted on here. The truth is a lot has changed and it feels like I have one foot in the last album cycle and one foot moving forward. There’s a bubbling excitement to being in a place of untamed creation - however it also can lead to burnout, decision fatigue, and second guessing. However, part of the process is capturing the changes that life throws. In this limbo I find myself feeling restless. I’m much more of a doer than a planner, not necessarily from a place of impulse but more so from a call to passion. When the art and the world building are in alignment I crave immediate execution, hungry to keep growing and creating and receiving. One of the most self gratifying things I’ve experienced has been pouring my heart into my art. However, when I fall into the trap of “I can do it all right now” my energy levels drop. To be a musician in today’s economy isn’t to only be songwriter  - but a social media expert, video editor, screen writer, photographer, full time decision maker. I find my willpower escaping me as the sheer amount of tasks and deadlines extends into the sky beyond the atmosphere. That is the careful balancing act, how to minimize the time between projects for the betterment of my soul & how to maximize the effort applied in these small bursts to make something not only good, but memorable.

Since the last time we spoke we signed to a major label. I know this is usually something people announce in an extravagant way but we didn’t have money for a photoshoot - so now you know, former briefly indie band now backed by a large team, a big budget, and a formalized schedule. I won’t say who just yet. Signing felt like a sigh of relief. It had been a long time coming. Lawyers, frequent check-ins, negotiations, re-negotiations, learning new legal jargon, and then human connection, mutual understanding, respect, and fairness. It’s all any musician could ever want in a deal. A contract that felt like the opposite of suffocation. A space for art to expand, and more so a space for me to feel like a person not a product. I can imagine some people will be curious why we didn’t continue being fully independent, the ultimate freedom. To be frank going independent at this moment is too risky and too unpredictable. My goal with every album is for it to be heard as much as possible. I love the art I make - its nice to be financially backed of course but more then anything its nice to be seen. Practically guaranteed. It’s something I don’t have to worry about. I already wear a lot of hats, I have no desire to be a full time business operator on top of being a full time musician. Labels have access and power and move the market. I feel excited for the next chapter.

With this deal, or more so per my managers request, came Hannah my creative director, but more importantly my new friend. I’ve never worked with a creative director before and to be completely honest I felt hostile towards the whole situation before we talked. I believed that a creative director would be replacing my job or worse, ruining something I love. World building satisfies me in a way music alone can’t - it finishes the story and ties it in a beautiful ribbon. It gives the songs dimension and color in ways beyond my original intention. Instead of control or sacrifice it’s just us girls talking through hundreds or ideas seeing what sticks and what doesn’t - what makes sense for this campaign vs. what can be done in the future. Someone to write short films with and spam inspiring reels to and talk to about what it means to make art. It’s been one of the greatest joys of planning the next era. I feel like she really gets me and what i’m about, and understands what its like to be a women in the music industry. There’s a constant bubbling between us, that reminds me of making youtube videos in middle school or planning a talent show. The work itself of course is “serious” but the act or collaboration is whimsical. It kind of reminds me what I had spoke about going into recording on a previous post. Making art with friends is so fulfilling, having fun leads to the best creations, ideas that come from imagination and not trend cycling actually create something far more meaningful - both for artists and fans. Although there’s a million things to do and I still do have phases or burnout - they pass quicker and someone has me covered getting things done and passing along inspiration while I take moments to recoup and brainstorm.

I can’t wait to share more with you about the ideas themselves, however for now I think i’ll keep these things close to my heart. I’m letting myself be fluid and carefully considering every next step. Today we start tour with the Beths - I find tour to be a space for great ideas (and hopefully future songs), so i’m hopeful things will organically come to me. It’s strange how creativity works, you can’t force it, you can’t will it, all you can do is wait to capture it. Like catching a lightning bug. This fact of nature use to frustrate me. I became impatient with myself for not being able to conjure an entire campaign in a week, even a month. But when you sit and watch and wait something magical happens. If you wait even longer it happens again and again and again. There’s a skill to knowing when to pause and when to move - I think we are now in the moving stage. Unfortunately, everything costs a-lot of money but fortunately someone else is paying upfront (all music costs we eventually pay through royalties but labels spend initially). It’s a matter of renting spaces, booking photographers, and ordering outfits. Just today I went to the thrift store to look for a sick blazer and secretary skirt (this is a hint). It’s funny how “diy” slips even into high budget productions. I find myself ordering handmade buttons and goldfish earrings. I have a vision or making homemade bracelets and ipad zines. Once tour is over we will hit the ground running. I’m beyond excited to bring the vision to life and to keep dreaming up a storm with Hannah in the meantime (she’s a genius). It’s interesting to see how things have changed since writing. Even the songs themselves mean different things to me than they did a couple months ago.

Anyways just wanted to give a quick update since I feel like I’ve left y’all in the dark. There was a period of negotiations and changes I didn’t want to share until everything was finalized. It felt a little early to keep writing about the process without any deadlines or motion and even still in the midst of so many decisions it feels like everything is moldable. But that’s the point of this outlet - to let you into a corner of my world and to feel grounded in the fact that nothing is permanent until it’s completed. Perhaps its an exercise in flexibility or an acceptance that business and art take time, each in there own way. I hope to catchup again soon.